GenXpat by Margaret Malewski

Author:Margaret Malewski
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Nicholas Brealey Publishing
Published: 2005-02-17T16:00:00+00:00

The Importance of Keeping in Touch

Most of us, at some point, have dreamed of going away and starting over. We fantasized about building friendships from scratch, uncluttered by any established image or reputation, past mistakes, or complex emotional demands. Indeed, upon arriving in a new place, you can quickly make a large circle of acquaintances, as people are curious about you and your background. The introductory chitchat puts you in the center of attention, the dinners and parties are entertaining.

Just as you may be congratulating yourself on having made the transition so successfully, you may find things slowing down. Introductions will have been made, information exchanged, and people—especially the locals—will be settling back into the social routines they had before you arrived. Since most people already have a set of close friends who satisfy their emotional needs and fill their schedules, it is quite unusual for them to adopt a newcomer deep into the fold. Another challenge in making this connection can be the language and cultural barrier. It may simply require more effort on their part to include you, and you may not get the same sense of connection that you might with someone who shares your history and cultural references, like your favorite sports team or TV show. Suddenly, the familiarity of longstanding relationships you had with your friends and family at home may seem very appealing. For all their complexity, they carry the benefit of a shared history and the acceptance of your strengths and weaknesses; they are a part of your identity. No matter how tempting it may be to leave everything behind, or to simply get caught up in all the excitement of going away, it is nevertheless vital to nurture these relationships. They will often be the ones that will carry you through the darker days of expatriation.

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